HOLY COW!

I recently realized I'm not very cool, at least with the lingo. This really shouldn't come as a big surprise to me though considering I'm in a 12 step program to kick my seasonal sweater habit, I drive a minivan and wear extremely sensible shoes. (But hey, in my defense when you're already 5'10" tall three inch heels aren't really something you need!)

But I guess I never realized just how, oh, I don't know, midwestern I really am until a few weeks ago. I was out shopping with a friend and she was sharing some details of her life I never knew. No deep dark secrets that would have been better shared in a confessional, just more like tidbits new friends share with each other as time goes on. And you know what my comment was to everything she said? "Holy Cow!"

After five or six hours of non stop references to eccliastical bovines I finally heard myself and could not believe my ears. I felt like I had just fallen off the turnip truck! (No offense to the growers of that fine vegetable, it's just "Holy Cow" doesn't seem very cool.) Why couldn't I have said something more sophisticated, like "Oh, how interesting", or "Fascinating", even "Tell me more"? "Holy Cow" is the linguistic equivalent of "Golly, gosh, geewillakers!" and it's not very cool.

And now that I'm aware of it I realize I say it all the time! I can't stop! Trust me, I've tried, but it just blurts out all day long! Holy cow this, holy cow that! A friend suggested I start saying "Holy $h!t" instead, but I just can't do it. It's just not right. You can take a girl out of the midwest (I've been gone for 20 years!) but I guess you just can't take the midwest out of the girl. Holy cow!